The
Ladder of Divine Ascent
Step
4 - On Obedience
After
concluding his discussion on the first three steps concerning the break with
the world, Climacus begins the far more lengthy section of his treatise which
focuses on the active life of spiritual warfare. This section includes twenty-three of the thirty steps of
the ladder and considers the acquisition of the fundamental and higher virtues
and the struggle against the passions.
The greatest detail is found in his explanation of the virtues, of which
obedience is the first.
Obedience,
Climacus states, has its origin in the previous step of exile. The monk who has stripped and emptied
himself of all that he possesses, including his own will in obedience, will be filled with the Holy Spirit and
rise heavenward. The battle ahead
will be difficult, but Climacus assures his readers that they will not be
without weapons in the struggle to attain this virtue. "From the dangers of unbelief, we
protect ourselves with the shield of faith. To cut away all selfish needs and longing we wield the
spiritual sword. Guarding us from
the mortal wounds of insult and degradation we wear the breastplate of patience
and meekness. And saving us from
the dangers of a lack of discernment we wear as a helmet the prayers of our
spiritual father."
Only
after beginning thus does Climacus venture to define obedience. It is to give up one's life entirely in
the way one thinks, judges and acts.
It is "the burial place of the will and the resurrection of lowliness." The need for a spiritual father,
Climacus believes, is evident - one who will intercede for the monk before God
and direct him through word and example in the submission of his will.
Climacus
seeks to describe this virtue and the path to attaining it through the use of
often severe but nonetheless illuminating and inspiring examples of obedient
behavior. Sternness on the part of
the spiritual father is seen as being important, for through such harshness he
test the monk's resolve in living the monastic life. Climacus continuously warns against judging or questioning
one's chosen spiritual father, because it is through a simple trust and
guilelessness that a monk is protected from the attacks of demons. The monk should hold back his mind and
guard his thoughts in all things, not trusting in himself or his own
judgments. A spiritual father
should be chosen whose life and virtue match the weaknesses of the monk. For example, if a monk struggles with
arrogance, he should choose a spiritual guide who is tough and unyielding, not
gentle and accommodating.
Climacus
also discusses the fruit that this virtue produces. There is a healing of soul that takes place through the
laying bare of one's sins to the spiritual father. Through being tried and purified as in a furnace, the
obedient grow in humility through their lowliness and gain the gifts of
dispassion and discernment.
1-3 Climacus
introduces the topic and discusses the weapons of the spiritual warrior who is
seeking to conquer himself through obedience.
4-7 Obedience
is defined. The monk is warned of
the one great threat to the obedient life.
Obedience
is a total renunciation of our own life, and it shows up clearly in the way we
act. Or, again, obedience is the
mortification of the members while the mind remains alive. Obedience is unquestioned movement,
death freely accepted, a simple life, danger faced without worry, an unprepared
defense before God, fearlessness before death, a safe voyage, a sleeper's
journey. Obedience is the burial
place of the will and the resurrection of lowliness. A corpse does not contradict or debate the good or whatever
seems bad, and the spiritual father who has devoutly put the disciple's soul to
death will answer for everything.
Indeed, to obey is, with all deliberateness, to put aside the capacity
to make one's own judgment.
So
you have decided to strip for the race of spiritual profession, to take
Christ's yoke on your neck, to lay your own burden on the shoulders of another,
to pledge your willing surrender to slavery? And for this you want it in writing that you get freedom in
return, even when you swim across this great sea borne up on the hands of
others? Very well, then. But you had better recognize that you
have undertaken to travel by a short and rough road, along which there is only
one false turning, that which they call self-direction and if that is avoided -
even in matters seemingly good, spiritual, and pleasing to God - then
straightaway one has reached journey's end. For the fact is that obedience is self-mistrust up to one's
dying day, in every matter, even the good.
8-17 What
must be done from the start: Choosing a spiritual father and submitting one's
self and one's thoughts to him completely. Climacus gives an example of how the wisdom and sternness of
a spiritual father brought true humility to a monk through the public
confession of his sins. Although
himself shocked by the severity of the test and the humiliation experienced,
Climacus recognizes the spiritual healing it brought to the young monk and the
power of his example for the rest of the community.
When
humbly and with true longing for salvation we resolve to bend the neck and
entrust ourselves to another in the Lord, there is something to be done before
we start. If there happens to be
any cunning in us, any prudence, then we should question, examine, and, if I
may say so, put to the test our master, so that there is no mistaking the
sailor for the helmsman, the patient for the doctor, the passionate for the
dispassionate man, the sea for the harbor - with the resulting shipwreck of our
soul. But having once entered the
stadium of holy living and obedience, we can no longer start criticizing the
umpire, even if we should notice some faults in him. After all, he is human and if we start making judgments,
then our submissiveness earns no profit.
If
we wish to preserve unshaken faith in our superiors, we must write their good
deeds indelibly in our hearts and preserve them in our memories so that, when
the demons scatter distrust of them among us, we can repel them by what we have
retained in our minds. The more
faith blossoms in the heart, the more the body is eager to serve. To stumble on distrust is to fall,
since "whatever does not spring from faith is sin" (Rom 14:23). When the thought strikes you to judge
or condemn your superior, leap away as though from fornication. Give no trust, place, entry, or
starting point to that snake. Say
this to the viper: "Listen to me, deceiver, I have no right to pass
judgment on my superior but he has the authority to be my judge. I do not judge him; he judges me."
He
who is submissive is passing sentence on himself. If his obedience for the Lord's sake is perfect, even when
it does not appear to be so, he will escape judgment. But if in some things he follows his own will, then even
though he thinks of himself as obedient, he takes the burden onto his own
self. If the superior continues to
rebuke him, then that is good; but if he gives up, I do not know what to say.
Those
who submit to the Lord with simple heart will run the good race. If they keep their minds on leash they
will not draw the wickedness of demons onto themselves.
Above
all let us make our confession to our good judge, and to him alone, though to
all if he so commands. Wounds
shown in public will not grow worse, but will be healed.
18-28 In
the following paragraphs, Climacus describes the obedience of the monks at a
monastery in Alexandria and the wisdom of their holy superior. The obedience of the monks was
constant, even in the absence of their superior. They supported each other in the practice and did penance
for each other's indiscretions.
The superior was strict in his application of remedies, applying them
quickly and expecting them to be used without question. The value of this, Climacus states, was
in the fruits it produced.
Praiseworthy
sternness of this kind has reached a high point among them and bears plenty of
fruit. Many of these holy fathers
became experts in active life and in spirituality, in discernment and
humility. Among them was the awful
and yet angelic sight of men grey-haired, venerable, preeminent in holiness,
still going about like obedient children and taking the greatest delight in
their lowliness. I have seen men
there who lived in total obedience for all of fifty years, and when I begged
them to tell me what consolation they had won from so great a labor, some
answered that having arrived thereby at the lowest depth of abasement they
could repel every onslaught, while others declared that they had attained
complete freedom from the senses and had obtained serenity amid every calumny
and insult.
I
saw others among these wonderful fathers who had the white hair of angels, the
deepest innocence, and a wise simplicity that was spontaneous and yet directed
by God Himself. The fact is that
just as an evil person is two-faced, one thing in public and another in
private, so a simple person is not twofold, but something whole. There is no one among them who is silly
and foolish in the way that some old men in the world are, as they say,
senile. No indeed. They are openly gentle, kindly,
radiant, genuine, without hypocrisy, affectation, or falsity of either speech
or disposition - something not found in many. Spiritually, they are like children, with God and the
superior as their very breath, and with the mind's eye on strict lookout for
demons and the passions.
29-34 Climacus
then gives an example of Isidore who submitted to his superior in obedience
like iron to the blacksmith.
Isidore spent seven years at the gate of the monastery begging for the
prayers of those who entered and there learned unashamed obedience and
humility. How Isidore's obedience
was perfected over is of greatest interest for the reader.
While
he was still alive, I asked this great Isidore how he had occupied his mind
while he was at the gate, and this memorable man did not conceal anything from
me, for he wished to be of help.
"At first I judged that I had been sold into slavery for my
sins," he said. "So I
did penance with bitterness, great effort, and blood. After a year my heart was no longer full of grief, and I
began to think of a reward for my obedience from God Himself. Another year passed and in the depths
of my heart I began to see how unworthy I was to live in a monastery, to
encounter the fathers, to share in the divine Mysteries. I lost the courage to look anyone in
the face, but lowering my eyes and lowering my thoughts even further, I asked
with true sincerity for the prayers of those going in and out."
35-36 Another
example is given of Lawrence, who was eighty years old and had been in the
monastery for 48 years. In a test
of obedience, he was left standing throughout the midday meal as everyone else
ate. The mind and heart of this
obedient old man is what instructs the most.
Being
myself a bad character, I did not let slip the chance to tease the old man, so
I asked him what he had been thinking about as he stood by the table. "I thought of the shepherd as the
image of Christ," he said.
"I thought of the command as coming not from him but from God. And so, Father John, I stood praying as
if I were in front of the altar of God rather than the table of men; and
because I trust and love my shepherd, I had no malevolent thoughts concerning
him. It is said that loves does
not reckon up injury. But be sure
of this much, Father, that anyone who freely chooses to be simple and guileless
provides the devil with neither the time nor the place for an attack.
37-38 John
uses another example to describe the responsibility of a director of souls of
testing the virtue of his monks.
Consideration is also given to human frailty.
And
the just Lord sent that shepherd of the holy flock someone just like himself to
be bursar of the monastery. He was
modest, like few others, and gentle as very few are. As a help to the others, the great elder once pretended to
get angry with him in church and ordered him out before the usual time. Now I knew that he was innocent of the
charge laid against him by the pastor, and when we were alone I started to
plead with the great man on behalf of the bursar. But this is what the wise man said: "Father, I too know
he is innocent. But just as it
would be a pity and indeed wrong to snatch bread from the mouth of a starving
child, so too the director of souls does harm to himself and to the ascetic if
he denies him frequent opportunities to gain crowns such as the superior thinks
he deserves at each hour, through having to put up with insults, dishonor,
contempt, and mockery. Three
things happen that are very wrong: first, the director misses the rewards due
to him for making corrections; second, the director fails to bring profit to
others when he could have done so through the virtue of that one person; but
third, and worst, is that those who seem to be the most hard-working and
obedient and hence confirmed in virtue, if left for any length of time without
being censured or reproached by the superior, lose that meekness and obedience
they formerly had. Good, fruitful,
and fertile land, if left without the water of dishonor, can revert to being
forest and can produce the thorns of vanity, cowardice, and arrogance. The great Apostle understood this. Hence his instruction to Timothy:
"Be insistent, criticize them, rebuke them in season and out of
season" (2 Tim. 4:2).
But
when I argued the matter with that true director, reminding him of human
frailty, I suggested that punishment, deserved or otherwise, might lead many to
break away from the flock. That
man, in whom wisdom had made a home, had this to say to me. "A soul bound in faith and love to
the shepherd for Christ's sake does not go away, even when blood is spilt. He certainly does not leave if through
the shepherd he has received the cure for his wounds, for he bears in mind the
words, 'Neither angels, nor principalities, nor powers nor any other creature
can separate us from the love of Christ' (Rom. 8:38-39). If a soul is not attached, bound, and
devoted to the shepherd in this fashion, it seems to me that the man should not
be here at all; for what binds him to the shepherd is hypocrisy and false
obedience." And the truth is
that this great man is not deceived, for he has guided, led to perfection, and
offered to Christ blameless sacrifices.
39-50 Through
a series of examples Climacus describes how testing in obedience leads to
purity and the absence of inner conflict.
51-54 Climacus
notes the unwillingness of the fathers to talk about the higher aspects of the
contemplative life. Obedience,
they believed, must be given first place among the virtues for the monk.
.
. . on one occasion I initiated a discussion of stillness among the most
experienced elders there. They
smiled and in their own cheerful way they spoke to me courteously as follows:
"Father John, we are corporeal beings and we lead a corporeal life. Knowing this, we choose to wage war
according to the measure of our weakness, and we think it better to struggle
with men who sometimes rage and are sometime contrite than to do battle with
demons who are always in a rage and always carrying arms against us."
One
of those memorable men showed me great love according to God. He was outspoken, and once, in his own
kindly fashion, he said this to me: "Wise man, if you have consciously
within you the power of him who said, 'I can do everything in Christ Who
strengthens me' (Phil. 4:13), if the Holy Spirit has come upon you as on the
Holy Virgin with the dew of purity, if the power of the Most High has cast the
shadow of patience over you, then, like Christ our God, gird your loins with
the towel of obedience, rise from the supper of stillness, wash the feet of
your brethren in a spirit of contrition, and roll yourself under the feet of
the brethren with humbled will.
Place strict and unsleeping guards at the gateway of your heart. Practice inward stillness amid the
twistings and the turbulence of your limbs. And, strangest of all perhaps, keep your soul undisturbed
while tumult rages about you.
Your
tongue longs to jump into argument, but restrain it. It is a tyrant, and you must fight it daily seventy times
seven. Fix your mind to your soul
as to the wood of a cross, strike it with alternating hammer blows like an
anvil. It has to be mocked,
abused, ridiculed, and wronged, though without in any way being crushed or
broken; indeed it must keep calm and unstirred. Shed your will as if it were some disgraceful garment, and
having thus stripped yourself of it, go into the practice arena. Put on the breastplate of faith, which
is so hard to come by, let it not be crushed or damaged by distrust of your
trainer. Let the rein of
temperance curb the shameless onward leap of the senses of touch. With meditation on death bridle those
eyes so ready to waste endless hours in the contemplation of physical
beauty. Hold back your mind, so
busy with its own concerns, so ready to turn to the reckless criticism and
condemnation of your brother. Show
instead every love and sympathy for your neighbor. Dearest father, all men will come to know that we are disciples
of Christ if, as we live together, we have love for one another. Stay here with us, my friend,
stay. Drink down ridicule by the
hour, as if it were living water.
David tried every pleasure under the sun, and at the end was at a loss
saying 'Behold what is good or what is pleasant?' (Ps. 132:1). And there was nothing except that
brother should live together in unity.
But if this blessing of patience and obedience has still not been given
to us, then the best thing to do is, having discovered our weakness, to stay
away from the athlete's stadium, to bless the contestants, and to pray that it
might be granted to them to endure."
Such
was the discourse of this good father and excellent teacher, who argued with me
in an evangelical and prophetic way, like a friend. And I was persuaded, so that with no hesitation I agreed to
give first place to blessed obedience.
55-68 Climacus
then turns his thoughts to how this virtue is fostered and developed. One must begin by being watchful of
every thought, seeking purity of heart through true contrition. A monk should willingly accept rebukes
and criticism, freely exposing his thoughts to his director. If one is truly obedient this will be
reflected in his speech and his unwillingness to cling to his own
opinions.
When
we are bitten by rebukes, let us be mindful of our sins until the Lord, seeing
the determination of our efforts, wipes away our sins and turns to joy that
sadness eating our hearts.
Blessed
is he who, slandered and despised every day for the Lord's sake, still
restrains himself. He will be in
the chorus of martyrs and will talk familiarly with angels. Blessed is the monk who thinks of
himself by the hour as having earned all dishonor and contempt. Blessed is he who mortifies his will to
the very end and who leaves the care of himself to his director in the
Lord. He will be placed at the
right hand of the Crucified. But
he who refuses to accept a criticism, just or not, renounces his own salvation,
while he who accepts it, hard or not though it may be, will soon have his sins
forgiven.
He
who exposes every serpent shows the reality of his faith, while he who hides
them still walks the trackless wastes.
A
man should know that a devil's sickness is on him if he is seized by the urge
in conversation to assert his opinion, however correct it may be. If he behaves this way while talking to
his equals, then a rebuke from his seniors may heal him. But if he carries on in this way with
those who are greater and wiser than he, his sickness cannot be cured by human
means.
He
who is not submissive in his talk will certainly not be so in what he
does. To be unfaithful in the
small things is to be unfaithful in the great, and this is very hard to bring
under control. Such a monk labors
in vain, and from holy obedience he will bring nothing but judgment on himself.
69-71 The
truly obedient need have no fear of death or judgment.
Someone
with a totally clear conscience in the matter of being obedient to his
spiritual father waits each day for death - as though it were sleep, or rather
life; and he is unafraid, knowing with certainty that when it is time to go,
not he but his spiritual director will be called to render account.
72-75 Having
to confess one's thoughts to spiritual father will keep a monk from committing
sins. Obedience is perfected when
simply the thought of the spiritual father keeps a monk from doing wrong. The truly obedient monk in humility
attributes all good that he does to the prayers of his spiritual father.
Confession
is like a bridle that keeps the soul which reflects on it from committing sin,
but anything left unconfessed we continue to do without fear as if in the dark.
If
we picture for ourselves the face of the superior whenever he happens to be
away, if we think of him as always standing nearby, if we avoid every
gathering, word, meal, sleep, or indeed anything to which we think he might
object, then we have really learned true obedience. False children are glad when the teacher is away, but the
genuine think it a loss.
A
wisely obedient man, even if he is able to raise the dead, to have the gift of
tears, to be free from conflict, will nevertheless judge that this happened
through the prayer of his spiritual director; and so he remains a stranger and
an alien to empty presumption. For
how could he take pride in something that, by his reckoning, is due to the
effort not of himself but of his director?
76-79 The
Devil's attacks on those who are obedient.
The
devil goes to battle with those in obedience. Sometimes he defiles them with bodily pollutions and
hardheartedness or makes them more restless than usual, sometimes he makes them
dry and barren, sluggish at prayer, sleepy and unilluminated. He does this to bring discouragement to
their efforts, making them think that their obedience has brought no profit and
that they are only regressing. He
keeps them from realizing that very often the providential withdrawal of what
seem to be our goods is the harbinger of our deepest humility.
That
deceiver is often overcome by patient endurance, and yet while he is still
talking there is another angel standing by to cheat us a little later in a
different fashion.
I
have known men living under obedience who, guided by their director, become
contrite, meek, self-controlled, zealous, free of turmoil, fervent. Then came the demons. They suggested to them that they were
now qualified for the solitary life, that as hermits they would win the
ultimate prize of total freedom from passion. Thus fooled, they left harbor and put to sea, and when the
storm lowered onto them, their lack of pilots left them pitifully exposed to
disaster from this foul and bitter ocean.
80-86 The
necessity of constancy in obedience and completeness in the revelation of
thoughts. A monk must develop that
habit of doing both.
The
man who sometimes obeys his director and sometimes not resembles the person who
puts into his eyes now medicine and now quicklime. It is said, "When one man builds and another pulls
down, what has been the profit of their labor?" (Ecclus. 34:23).
Son,
obedient servant of the Lord, do not be so fooled by the spirit of conceit that
you confess your sins to your director as though they were someone else's. Lay bare your wound to the healer. Only through shame can you be freed
from shame. Tell him, and do not
be ashamed: "This is my wound, Father; this is my injury. It happened because of my negligence
and not from any other cause. No
one is to blame for this, no man, spirit or body or anything else. It is all through my negligence."
At
confession you should look and behave like a condemned man. Keep your head bowed and, if you can,
shed tears on the feet of your judge and healer, as though he were Christ. (Very often demons manage to persuade
us either to omit confession, or else to confess as though the sins were
committed by someone else or else to blame others as responsible for our own
sins.)
Habit
forms things and follows them. And
it is particularly true that virtue depends on habit, and here God is the great
collaborator.
My
son, if at the very start you manage to allow your entire soul to suffer
indignities, you will not have to struggle for many years in search of blessed
peace.
You
must not imagine that prostrating yourself in confession to your helper, as if
he were God Himself, is in any way wrong.
Condemned criminals, by their sorry looks, by earnest confession and
pleadings, have softened the harshness of a judge and turned his rage to mercy.
We
ought not be surprised if the attacks continue to come even after
confession. In any case, it is
better to be battling with our thoughts rather than our self-esteem.
87-90 Must
not give in to the deception to embrace the solitary life prematurely. In humility the monk must stay with his
spiritual father as long as he can.
Do
not get excited or carried away by the stories concerning hesychasts and
hermits. You are marching in the
army of the First Martyr, and in the event of a fall you should remain on the
practice ground, since then more than ever one needs a healer. He who strikes his foot against a rock
while being helped would not only have stumbled unaided, but would have died.
When
a doctor says he cannot help you, then you must go to another, since few are
cured without one. Who, indeed,
would disagree if I were to say that a ship wrecked while there was a skilled
pilot aboard would quite certainly have been lost if there had been no pilot at
all?
Humility
arises out of obedience . . .
91-92 Climacus
warns that a monk should not get into the practice of leaving one healer for
another. Again the monk should not
enter the solitary life or leave his spiritual father too quickly.
The
sick who try out a healer, receive help from him, and then, before being fully
cured, jettison him for the sake of another deserve every punishment from
God. Do not run from the hands of
him who has brought you to the Lord, for never in your life again will you
respect anyone as you did him.
It
is not safe for an untried soldier to leave the ranks and take up single
combat. Equally, it is dangerous
for a monk to undertake the solitary life before he has had plenty of
experience and practice in the battle with the passions of the soul. The one man jeopardizes his body, the
other his soul. Now Scripture says,
"Two are better than one" (Eccles. 4:9), meaning that it is better
for a son to be with his father as, aided by the divine power of the Holy
Spirit, he fights against his predispositions. He who deprives a blind man of his guide, a flock of its
shepherd, a lost man of his counselor, a child of its father, a sick man of his
doctor, a ship of its pilot, becomes a menace to everyone. And he who tries to fight unaided
against the spirits gets himself killed by them.
93-94 Signs
of obedience in the monk.
Those
entering a hospital for the first time should indicate where they hurt, and
those entering on obedience should show their humility. Relief from pain is the sign of a
return to health for the one, while increasing self-criticism is the sign for
the other. Indeed, there is no
clearer sign.
It
is enough that your conscience should be the mirror of your obedience.
95-129 Obedience and how it is to be
fostered in community life - silence, watchfulness, humility, constancy, and
faith.
Those
living in stillness and subject to a father have only demons working against
them. But those living in a
community have to fight both demons and human beings. This first kind keep the commands of their master more
strictly since they are always under his scrutiny, while the latter break them
to some extent on account of his being away. Still, the zealous and the hard-working more than compensate
for this failing by their persistence, and accordingly they win double crowns.
We
ought to be very careful to keep a watch on ourselves. When a harbor is full of ships it is
easy for them to run against each other, particularly if they are secretly
riddled by the worm of bad temper.
We
should practice complete silence and ignorance in the presence of the superior,
for a silent man is a son of wisdom and is always gaining great knowledge. I have watched while a monk anticipated
the words of his superior, but I trembled for his obedience because I observed
that this tendency led him to pride rather than lowliness.
Watch
yourself when you are in the presence of your brothers and under no
circumstances should you put yourself forward as being better than they. For if you do, then you will be doubly
in the wrong, provoking them with your fake zeal and stirring yourself up to
presumption.
Be
zealous within your soul, but do not give the slightest sign, word, or hint of
it outwardly; and you will manage this as soon as you stop looking down on your
neighbor, something you may be inclined to do. And if so, then become like your brethren in order not to
differ from them solely by the measure of your conceit.
I
once saw an inexperienced disciple who used to boast in certain quarters about
the achievement of his teacher. He
imagined that in this way he would win glory for himself from another's
harvest. But he only got a bad
name for himself, for everyone put this question to him: "How then could a
good tree grow such a dead branch?"
We
do not get the name of being patient when we bravely endure the derision of our
father, but only when we endure it from every kind of person. For we put up with our father out of
respect and because it is our duty.
Drink
deeply of scorn from every man, as though it were living water handed you to
cleanse you from lust. Then indeed
will a deep purity dawn in your soul and the light of God will not grow dim in
your heart.
If
someone observes that his brothers are satisfied with him, let him not start
boasting to himself. There are
thieves all around. Remember the
warning: "When you have done all that was laid on you to do, say, 'We are
unprofitable servants. We did only
what we had to'"(Luke 17:10).
We will find out at the time of death what judgment has been passed on
us.
Do
not become silent in an unreasonable way that cause disturbance and hard
feeling in others, and do not let your behavior and progress slow down when you
have been told to hurry. Otherwise
you will be worse than the possessed and the rebellious. I have often seen such things as these,
as Job says (Job 13:1), that is, souls burdened sometimes by slowness of
character and sometimes by excessive eagerness. I was astounded by the variety of evil.
Whoever
has secretly vowed not to give up the struggle until his very last breath, to
endure a thousand deaths of body and soul, will not fall easily into any of
these difficulties, for it is inconstancy of heart and unfaithfulness to one's
place that bring about stumblings and disasters. Those who readily go from monastery to monastery are totally
unfit since nothing is more conducive to barrenness than impatience.
.
. . if you discover that the doctors and the workers in that place can cure you
of your ailments and, especially, of the spiritual pride that weighs you down,
then go to them, buy your healing with the gold of humility, and write your
terms in letters of service on the parchment of obedience, and let the angels
be your witnesses as you tear up before them the book of your willfulness.
If
you wander from place to place, you fritter away the gold with which Christ
ransomed you. So let the monastery
be for you a tomb before the tomb.
No one can come out of the tomb before the general resurrection, and if
there be monks who have gone out, then they are really dead. Let us beg the Lord not to let this
happen to us.
If,
having bound yourself to certain obligations, you become aware of the fact that
your soul's eye has made no progress, do not seek permission to quit. The authentic monk will persevere
anywhere and the converse is also true.
The
zealous should be especially careful not to condemn the easygoing in case they
draw down a worse sentence on themselves.
That, I think, was why Lot was justified. Despite the sort of people he lived with, he never seems to
have condemned them.
Regarding
those who have undertaken to care for us in the Lord, we should trust them
completely, even when they order us to do something that looks like being
contrary to our salvation. That is
the time when our faith in them is tested as in a furnace of humiliation, and
the sign of the most genuine faith is when we obey our superiors without
hesitation, even when we see the opposite happening to what we had hoped.
There
are some living in obedience who, on noticing the kindness and indulgence of
their superior, seek his permission to follow their own wishes. They ought to know that if they get
this, they deprive themselves completely of their confessor's crown. Obedience is foreign to hypocrisy and
willfulness.
.
. . if there is a temptation on us to move from a place, let that be proof that
our life there is pleasing to God.
War against us is proof that we are making war.
130-136 More examples of obedient behavior and
its fruits.
137-150 Things that help or hinder the
growth of obedience. Again
Climacus addresses the choice of one's director and how a monk must cherish
this relationship above all.
Those
striving completely to learn a craft make daily progress. It has to be so. But some know how they are
progressing. Others, by divine
providence, do not know.
A
silly person feels hurt when accused or shouted at. He tries to answer back or else at once apologizes to his
accuser, not for reasons of humility but to put a stop to his reproaches. In fact you should be silent when
ridiculed. Accept patiently these
spiritual cauterizations, or rather, purifying flames.
The
devil proposes impossible virtues to those who live under obedience, and
unsuitable ideas to those living in solitude. If you look at the thinking of the inexperienced novices
living under obedience, you will find ideas out of step with one another -
desire for stillness, for extreme fasting, for unbroken prayer, for total
freedom from vanity, for continual remembrance of death, for unceasing
compunction, for absolute release from anger, for deep silence, for outstanding
purity. And should they happen by
divine providence to be without these at the start, they rush vainly toward a
different life because they have been deceived. The enemy persuades them to look too soon for these virtues,
so that they may not persevere and attain them in due time. And to those living in solitude, the
deceiver heaps praise on the hospitality of those living under obedience, on
their service, their brotherly love, their community living, the visits to the
sick. What the devil is trying to
do is to make both restless.
We
should analyze the nature of our passions and of our obedience, so as to choose
our director accordingly. If lust
is your problem, do not pick for your trainer a worker of miracles who has a
welcome and a meal for everyone.
Choose instead an ascetic who will reject any of the consolation of
food. If you are arrogant, let him
be tough and unyielding, not gentle and accommodating. We should not be on the lookout for
those gifted with foreknowledge and foresight, but rather for those who are
truly humble and whose character and dwelling place match our weaknesses.
Adopt
the fine habit, so conducive to obedience, of always assuming that the superior
is testing you, and you will not be far wrong. If you are constantly upbraided by your director and thus
acquire great faith in him and love for him, then you may be sure that the Holy
Spirit has taken up residence invisibly in your soul and the power of the Most
High has overshadowed you. But you
must not boast or celebrate when you manage to be brave under insults and
indignities. Rather should you
mourn for having earned criticism and for having stirred your director to anger
against you. And what I am going
to say to you now must not shock you.
(In any case I have the support of Moses in this.) It is better to sin against God than
against our father. If we make God
angry, our director can reconcile Him to us. But if he is angry, then there is no one to speak for us
before God. And in any case, the
two situations are really the same.
Or so it seems to me.
Let
us be vigilant and very carefully and prudently decide when we should gladly
and silently endure accusations made against us to our pastor, and when we
ought to speak up for ourselves to him.
I think we should always be silent when some indignity is offered to us,
since we can profit from that. But
where another person is involved we should make a defense so as to keep
unbroken the bond of love and peace.
He
who strives for dispassion and for God considers lost any day on which he was
not criticized. Like trees swayed
by the wind and driving their roots deeper into the ground, those who live in
obedience become strong and unshakable souls.
