Remembrance
of wrongs is the offspring of anger and its culmination. It holds on to another's sins. Climacus describes it as a poison of
the soul. The seriousness of this
cannot be underestimated for, he states, "a malicious hesychast is like a
lurking snake carrying about its own deadly poison." It is deadly to the soul because it
makes a mockery of its prayer and stifles true love.
In
order to rid ourselves of this vice, we must purge ourselves of anger. Our greatest weapon in this task is the
Lord's Prayer. For we cannot but
be put to shame for our maliciousness when we ceaselessly cry out to God to
forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
We
may also be healed of this passion through looking to the example of Christ's
long suffering and his patient endurance of the many wrongs done to him.
1-6 Malice
defined and described.
Remembrance
of wrongs comes as the final point of anger. It is a keeper of sins. It hates a just way of life. It is the ruin of virtues, the poison of the soul, a worm in
the mind. It is the shame of
prayer, a cutting off of supplication, a turning away from love, a nail
piercing the soul. It is a pleasureless
feeling cherished in the sweetness of bitterness. It is a never-ending sin, an unsleeping wrong, rancor by the
hour.
7-14 How
malice can be overcome and the true sign that it has been mastered. Forgetting of wrongs is the sure means
of being forgiven.
Let
your malice and your spite be turned against the devils. Treat your body always as an enemy, for
the flesh is an ungrateful and treacherous friend. The more you look after it, the more it hurts you.
Let
the prayer of Jesus put it to shame, that prayer which cannot be uttered in the
company of malice.
If
after great effort you still fail to root out this thorn, go to your enemy and
apologize, if only with empty words whose insincerity may shame you. Then as conscience, like a fire, comes
to give you pain, you may find that a sincere love of your enemy may come to
life.
A
true sign of having completely mastered this putrefaction will come not when
you pray for the man who offended you, not when you give him presents, not when
you invite him to share a meal with you, but only when, on hearing of some
catastrophe that has afflicted him in body or soul, you suffer and you lament
for him as if for yourself.
The
remembrance of what Jesus suffered is a cure for remembrance of wrongs, shaming
it powerfully with His patient endurance.
Some
labor and struggle hard to earn forgiveness, but better than these is the man
who forgets the wrongs done to him.
Forgive quickly and you will be abundantly forgiven. To forget wrongs is to prove oneself
truly repentant, but to brood on them and at the same time to imagine one is
practicing repentance is to act like the man who is convinced he is running
when in fact he is fast asleep.
15-16 Concluding
remarks and exhortation.
Never
imagine that this dark vice is a passion of no importance, for it often reaches
out even to spiritual men.
Such
is the ninth step. Let him who has
taken it have the courage henceforth to ask Jesus the Savior to free him from
his sins.
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