Save me, O God.
The waters are rising again, higher than my throat.
I taste the silt of despair.
The ground beneath me has vanished.
I sink where no footing holds,
and the mire closes around my chest like judgment.
The demons are awake.
They whisper through the cracks of the night,
circling like wolves in the fog of my mind.
They strike when I try to pray,
when silence thickens and Your light seems gone.
They call me abandoned.
They remind me of my age,
my failures, the unanswered letters,
the fading fire of the priesthood,
the long obedience that feels unseen.
Their voices mock Your promises,
and my heart shudders as if split open.
But I call to You from this pit.
Let my cry reach You,
before my soul is swallowed whole.
Do not hide Your face from me, O Lord.
I am tired of waiting,
my eyes are dim from scanning the darkness for You.
I have loved Your house,
and it has burned me.
Zeal has consumed me like fire without flame.
They have given me gall for food,
and for my thirst, bitterness.
The very air I breathe feels cursed,
and yet I whisper Your Name still.
You know my heart’s ruin,
the cracks I hide from men.
You see how every thought bends toward You,
even when I am afraid You have left me.
Do not let the demons have the last word.
Do not let their laughter echo in the silence.
Break the chains that hold me in this hidden tomb.
Let Your Spirit breathe once more through the ashes.
If You must wound me, wound me cleanly.
If You must strip me, strip me down to faith alone.
Only do not leave me.
Do not let me die alone in the dark.
I am waiting, Lord,
not for consolation but for You.
I will stay here in the silence,
my forehead pressed to the earth,
until Your mercy moves again,
and the flood becomes the water of life.
Then I will rise;
not with words, but with the quiet of one
who has seen the abyss and lived.
And I will say nothing
but Your Name.
No comments:
Post a Comment